i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
be right there i have to get my cape
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
