Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
