This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
