the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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