Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles

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  (319): I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles http://tfl.nu/zz0g
  Replies (7) Good night (2799) Bad night (605)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!

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  (506): Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT! http://tfl.nu/lyyu
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (3709)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.

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  (828): As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance. http://tfl.nu/tng6
  Replies (85) Good night (9533) Bad night (1391)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.

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  (520): you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him. http://tfl.nu/r7kw
  Replies (10) Good night (803) Bad night (3581)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.

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  (610): I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate. http://tfl.nu/wg9p
  Replies (11) Good night (1078) Bad night (3631)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.

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  (416): We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water. http://tfl.nu/lb4i
  Replies (6) Good night (2822) Bad night (828)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.

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  (+44): There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it. http://tfl.nu/t5pt
  Replies (7) Good night (3338) Bad night (878)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"

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  (513): You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea" http://tfl.nu/kx8t
  Replies (7) Good night (2135) Bad night (706)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won

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  (774): Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won http://tfl.nu/tslf
  Replies (10) Good night (1466) Bad night (536)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.

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  (613): Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in. http://tfl.nu/gv1u
  Replies (3) Good night (1075) Bad night (452)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.

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  (423): We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off. http://tfl.nu/yele
  Replies (17) Good night (3207) Bad night (509)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...

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  (612): We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game... http://tfl.nu/bxkh
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (340)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.

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  (630): he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding. http://tfl.nu/dq8r
  Replies (2) Good night (320) Bad night (615)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job

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  (240): I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job http://tfl.nu/fm2s
  Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (294)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day

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  (206): I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day http://tfl.nu/hum6
  Replies (5) Good night (812) Bad night (316)

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