This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf