Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder

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(703): View more from Virginia

I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space

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(903): View more from Texas

Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I find this completely acceptable.

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(425): View more from Washington

Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees

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(415): View more from California

i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf

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