Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
