I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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