he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
