It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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