I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
