What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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