Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
