My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize