Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
