walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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