Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I need a beard to bite.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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