So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i came on her dog
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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