i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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