Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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