every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
