Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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