absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
