Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
