Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
