You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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