remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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