Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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