I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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