Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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