I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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