Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
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