A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Bring me that man meat
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
