After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
