I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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