I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
