I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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