Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
