Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
