everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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