"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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