just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
