Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Couch. On fire.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize