Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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