do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
