this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
