Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
