At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
