I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
