how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
