when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
