you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
