If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
