you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
