I just pynch a tree in the face
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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