hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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