is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
