I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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