well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
