why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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