he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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